“Let not to get a living be thy trade, but thy sport.” Henry David Thoreau
There are four types of players in the corporate world.
The Natural Ballers – They just got it, whatever it is, and everybody else wants it.
The Wannabe Ballers – Guys that know they ain’t got it but want to get it.
The Benchwarmer Noobs – Guys that ain’t got it, know they ain’t got it, and won’t do anything about it.
The Comfortably Numb – They ain’t got it, don’t know it, and don’t care.
The Natural Ballers are the bubble boys. Alpha males, HS QBs, good looking, charismatic, most likelys in the yearbook, the BMOCs, frat boys turned high potential junior execs. Small talk comes easy to them. They are comfortable with themselves and everybody else. Darn it, people like them. Very little social anxiety, they are moving on up without even trying. You want to hate them but they are too damn charming. There is nothing wrong with these guys; we could all be so lucky. Blindside: arrogance. 20% of total corp pop.
The Wishful Wannabes are the aspirational retards. They want to be Ballers, too. To their credit, they are trying hard. This blog is for them. Try smarter, boys, not harder. But try, indeed. Blindside: awkard try-hardness. 10% of total corp pop.
The Neurotic Noobs who won’t man up and fix their ish. Maybe their daddy was mean to them or they got teased in the locker room or they are scared HR will get them if they wander near a boundary. Whatever the reason, they are the spineless, who the rest of us are thankful we get to compete with. This blog despises them (professionally, not personally – some of my best friends are…) for they waste their manhood. Blindside: metaphorical bed-wetting. 60% of total corp pop.
The Comfortably Numb, I actually envy. To be content, as the Good Book says, is great gain. Blissfully unaware of their suckiness and relatively happy. This blog is not for them cuz I would never want do disturb another human’s contetedness. Unless they want to share their secrets…Blindside: none. 10% of total corp pop.
The point is some people are naturally good at the corporate game, and others (like myself) have to figure it out.
I’m a hick from a tiny town in West Texas who has now been on Wall Street for 15 years. I beat out an Ivy League MBA Baller and Shot Caller for my current job, managing large amounts of American Pesos – like, a bunch of commas and zeroes.
He was way smarter than me, with a Wharton degree and five years at a top hedge fund. Trouble was, he knew he was good. I didn’t know I was good, at least on the surface….awww shucks, I’ll just do my best. He was playing the game, and a little bit of the game within the game. Me? I was playing the game and pretending not to play the game within the game while winning the game within the game within the game. We fired him a few years later. I swear I had nothing to do with it. Stack of Bibles. It was alllllllll my big boss’s idea.
Today, I get asked to do executive coaching. Execs in my network, outside of my company, want me to share the “secrets” (lmao) to becoming a real Player, jumped up from Wannabe status. Secrets, plural, because there ain’t no one thing. It’s a bunch of things, mostly unique to each individual Wannabe Baller. The common thing, the uniting factor, is will.
Pop the red pill, see the matrix, beat the matrix, by philosophically embracing your masculinity and awakening the friendly psychopath that hibernates deep in the psyche of every man.