Winging my way to DC for the week. Beside me slumbers one of my state’s Senators. I’m from Cali; she’s our shorter one. A row behind me, the CEO of one of the coolest media companies around pecks away at his laptop.
I just sent him the following, an exec summary of the Offense Wins More Championships Playbook. Knowing how sucky Virgin’s internet is, we may land before he gets it. Anyway, I thought you guys might want to see it even though much of it’s redundant from earlier posts here.
Ultimately, the full Playbook will be linked above next to the About tab.
Offense Wins More Championships – A Playbook for Nice Guys Finishing Last in Business
“Let not to get a living be thy trade, but thy sport.” Henry David Thoreau
Nice Guys purportedly finish last. Confused about how the world really works, they muddle along in neurotic misery ultimately taking refuge in moral superiority as a measure of last resort.
Don’t be that guy. Losing the “Right Way” doesn’t help you or your team.
There are four types of players in the corporate world. The Natural Ballers, the Wannabe Ballers, the Benchwarmer Noobs, and the Comfortably Numb. Nice Guys make up the second and third category. Wannabe Ballers who work on their game can actually end up outperforming the Naturals over the long haul. End result: Badass.
Nice Guy Wannabes, this is your Playbook.
The corporate game plays out on three levels. The first two are obvious, well studied, and hyper-competitive. The third is none of those, and where you’ll gain advantage.
G1: The Game itself. Whatever it is that you do and your team does.
G2: Politics. This sucks, and is bad for your soul and your team.
G3: Psychology. The Social Matrix where you and your team can Win Together.
Pop the metaphoric Red Pill and see the Social Matrix that rules existence. Social Dynamics controls the corporate reality, paradoxically, not power or money. Those are merely pocket change. Situational Social Status is the real currency. Attraction, Respect, and Connection – your ignorance costs you. A little knowledge in these areas ups your game considerably.
Nice Guys don’t do well because no one Respects them, and thus people (clients, teammates) are neither Attracted to Nice Guys nor have interest in Connecting with them. Yet Nice Guys spend all their time trying to Connect, and end up bitter and frustrated. This lack of Respect stems from psychological weakness. Easy fix: set strong boundaries and learn Frame Control.
Nice Guys: “We Win Together even at my expense, if necessary.”
Bad Guys: “I win at everybody else’s expense, if necessary.”
Good Guys: “We Win Together, but not at my expense.”
Great Guys: “We Win Together in time for Happy Hour.”
Psychological Strength grows as does Physical Strength: heavy lifting. Men should pursue both. Great Guys throughout space and time have left vast resources. One must merely lift the cover: philosophy, psychology, mythology, religion, neuroscience, physiology, poetry, literature, anthropology, and even the occasional biz leadership book.
Note that Nice Guys are still Guys. Great advantage can be gained by embracing Healthy Masculinity:
Strength – Effective Impact, not False Productivity.
Courage – Risk to Win, Fail to Learn.
Honor – Win Together.
Wisdom – Prudence over Fear.
Every social interaction has a Frame. He who controls the Frame controls the interaction and the outcome. The most common Frame in the corporate world is the Power Frame. Second is the Analytical Frame. Both are mostly worthless. Almost nothing gets done. Thus, endless meetings. Skip all the above.
The Savvy Player always “flips” the Frame to either Intrigue or Bro Frame. His Situational Status pops. He can take the Alpha role. People will follow. The Good and Great Guys use this advantage to lead the team to a win. In particularly tough times, the (functional, positive) Psychopath Frame works. Overtime the Savvy Player’s frame evolves to BadAss Frame.
Once a Wannabe, now a Badass, this Guy’s game finally exceeds the Natural.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We are American; time to put the work in.
Stoicism – Squash your neuroticism , which is highly unattractive. Coaches: a Roman Emperor, a Greek Philosopher.
Outcome Independence – Quit Try-Harding and eliminate your neediness, which is also unattractive and gives others power over you. Coaches: Buddha, Jesus.
Positive Energy Flow – Take captive every negative thought, releasing the nuclear power that is positive human energy. Coaches: Charlie Wilson.
Know Thyself/Be Thyself – Learn your strengths, live and work in them; pop goes your energy, crushing everything and forgetting how to lose. Coaches: General Patton and Gallup.
Stay in the Moment – Anchor the entirety of yourself in this moment with these people…massive Connection and Attraction. Coaches: a kooky German Philosopher and a Persian Poet.
Abundance – Give yourself away and get an infinitude back, lacking nothing, fearless, needless, open. Coaches: Lao-Tzu.
Note: Working out your inner-self as described above is not permission to mis-execute. Keep up with G1 (the Game, noobs): crush your goals, beat the quarter, beat the year, keep the investments and strategy going to own years 2+.